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"I'm OK! I'm wide awake! I can drive alright. Only a few more miles.... "
It must have been the gravel. The gravel hitting up under the car would jolt me awake just in time to watch Ed swerve back onto the road. He blinked constantly and rolled his head from side to side. I knew the syndrome well -- severe eye fatigue. No amount of coffee or No-Doze helps when your eyes are just plain tired of looking. They gaze for awhile, then go crosseyed, or maybe flip back and forth sending everything into crazy jitters. And if you turn 'em full lock to either side, they quit jumping for a moment. I knew what Ed was going through because I went through it occasionally, except my eye jitters differ in that I frequently ... "
"My God! Did you see that?
"See what, Ed?"
"'That thing we ran over? It looked like a rabbit with webbed feet?"
"No. it
"I guess I must have... aw shit! Forget it."
As I was saying, my advanced eye fatigue syndrome, like Ed's, is frequently accompanied by hallucinations. Everything from aardvarks to deranged hitchhikers leap in front of the car. Sometimes I swerve to miss them, other times I just run them down (which is a risky business). But then so is driving, even under optimum conditions (then why make it more dangerous by driving when you're exhausted?). I hate to lose arguments with myself. Where are we anyhow?
"Where are we, Ed? passed Rich Creek yet?"
"Yeah. We're almost
"But Union comes before Rich Creek."
"Does it? Which one has a traffic light and a sharp turn?"
"Both of those places have traffic lights and sharp turns."
"Here's a sign. It says 'Rock Camp'. I guess we're still in West Virginia."
"I thought you were going to stop at that water fountain in the stone building by the road."
I am.
"I think we've passed it."
"I didn't see it."
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?"
"I'm OK! I can drive alright. We're almost there anyway. Hey, if you want a drink I think there's some beer left.
"No. They're all gone. Rick drank the last one before we got to Marlinton."
"The whole case is gone? No wonder Rick is passed out."
"Hell, Ed, there were only five left when we got out of the cave."
"Shit. Could that be why this trip has been so fucked up?"
"We were sober when we planned it, Ed."
I don't really think the trip was all that fucked up. Maybe some of our procedures were, but we came, we saw, and now we're on our way back to Blacksburg. And if Ed can just manage to keep it between the fences, we'll be eating breakfast in Shultz Hall in a few hours and the whole ordeal will be over.
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